Seeing beyond the pain.

I just completed presenting at a convention of Christian Counselors talking about helping people grow spiritually through the pain of mental illness. What I have understood over the years that I watched people in the process of spiritual development is they tend to move from a self-centered existence toward a more other-centered and purpose-filled life. Experiencing the pain of mental and emotional problems tends to interrupt that process and pulls that persons eyes inward and away from any sense of meaning and purpose. I often think of ways to help that person see himself or herself in a new way, to overcome that tendency, to pull his or her eyes away from the pain and see things differently. In the end it is about helping one realize the value one has in the world and the purposeful life one can lead and the meaningful life that can bring.

The Power of AND

In my work as a therapist, one of the most destructive and recovery stalling words I hear my clients use is the word "BUT." Most of the time it is used to create a dichotomy in our thoughts and leads us to believe that we cannot do one thing because another is true. Let me give some examples. "I want to recovery but my family are all users." "I want to complete this task (go to school, get a different job) but my anxiety is so high." "I want to forgive that person but I am very angry."

What if we were to re-express those statements using the word "AND?" "I want to recovery and my family are all users." "I want to complete this task and my anxiety is high." "I want to forgive that person and I am very angry." Suddenly, the insurmountable becomes possible; the wall separating us from our desire becomes an obstacle in the road that we can see around and may just require us to swerve one way or another to get past.

Let's ride

Well, welcome to my blog. This is my first attempt at doing this. Let me start with the title of the blog "Where The Road Turns." It is in reference to the many twists and turns my life has taken and what came of those turns. Things can be going along straight and smooth when suddenly life takes a turn. It is how we manage those turns that determine where we go. My road led me through a life of ministry and then into counseling. It lead me from the doorsteps of an adoption agency to being a husband twice, a father, step-father, grandfather and a delighted owner (or keeper) of a dog and cat, neither of which I wanted. I am grateful for the opportunity of life. It is an amazing, sometimes crazy, occasionally scary, road trip. So, hop in the station wagon with me and let's ride!