In my work as a therapist, one of the most destructive and recovery stalling words I hear my clients use is the word "BUT." Most of the time it is used to create a dichotomy in our thoughts and leads us to believe that we cannot do one thing because another is true. Let me give some examples. "I want to recovery but my family are all users." "I want to complete this task (go to school, get a different job) but my anxiety is so high." "I want to forgive that person but I am very angry."
What if we were to re-express those statements using the word "AND?" "I want to recovery and my family are all users." "I want to complete this task and my anxiety is high." "I want to forgive that person and I am very angry." Suddenly, the insurmountable becomes possible; the wall separating us from our desire becomes an obstacle in the road that we can see around and may just require us to swerve one way or another to get past.
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